All The World's a Stage
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Morgan learns a little more about his Baby Girl. 22nd in our Shakespeare Series. Post-ep for "Reflections of Desire".


_**Author's Note: Hello, wonderful readers. At any rate, we have just a few announcements for everyone today.**_

_**IMPORTANT: TIME IS RUNNING OUT!**_

_**WE HAVE 13 DAYS LEFT TO VOTE! LET'S ALL GET MOTIVATED!**_

_**First, please remember to try and spare a few moments over the upcoming three weeks and VOTE for your favorite authors and stories in the "Profiler's Choice Awards" at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. You have through the end of November 30, 2010 to let your vote be heard and we want to hear from each one of you. If you don't know much about forums, links can be found through either my profile (ilovetvalot) or my awesome co-author (tonnie2001969). Remember, anyone that wants to help advertise the awards has our unending gratitude and there is also a short blurb you can use on our profile pages.**_

_**Thank you to everyone taking the time to vote and advertise for us. We appreciate each and every one of you. The responses are starting to roll in and we have a tight race running in several categories. Let your opinion be heard. It is not necessary to vote in EVERY category. If you only read certain pairings, feel free to only vote in those areas. The important thing is to vote.**_

_**Free one-shots to the next five people to cast their votes...any pairing and three prompts of your choosing (I'll use two!). Let's all get on the ball and have some fun!**_

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_**This is 21st in our Shakespeare Series of Post-Eps. This follows "Reflections of Desire".**_

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**All the World's A Stage**

"So," Derek Morgan grinned wickedly as he wriggled his eyebrows, "The thea-tah," he announced dramatically, tossing his head back as he pretended to flounce non-existent hair.

"Stuff it, Handsome," Penelope Garcia glared at the man leaning in her office door. "Forget you ever heard...what you did not hear," she blustered, her cheeks reddening, almost matching the tint of her auburn hair.

"Oh, hell, Sweetness," Derek snorted, stepping smoothly inside her office and closing the door behind him. "We keepin' secrets from each other now?" he asked, leaning against the shut door as he stared across the room at her, watching as she packed her bag for the evening with flustered hands.

"Don't even start with me, Tiger. I'm currently staging a mutiny on the Bounty," Penelope snorted, eyeing her laptop dangerously as her latest confirmation of Aaron Hotchner's eternal torment beeped.

"What have you done, Angelface?" Derek murmured warily, stepping forward to try and peer over her shoulder.

Slapping her iPad cover shut with a flick of her wrist, Penelope shoved it in her bag. "Never you mind," she retorted, her taloned finger tapping against his wrist. "Suffice it to say that El Capitan needs a reminder of who really rules the roost," Penelope muttered darkly.

"I don't wanna know," Derek shook his head, entirely too aware how far reaching Penelope Garcia's wrath could reach. It was better to stay out of the way until he needed to post the bail money in situations such as this. "Not about that, anyway," he added pointedly, his eyebrows lifting as he looked intently at her.

"Look, My Dark Ray of Sunshine," Penelope smiled ever so sweetly as she zipped an outside pocket on her bag, "the things about me that you don't know could fill a book." Casting him an impatient look, Penelope resisted the urge to stomp her foot. See, this was just like the big lug...he always thought he knew it all...he took for granted that she'd had a life before him...and since him.

Seeing the irritation flashing in her sparkling big blue eyes, Derek leaned a hip against the desk, crossing his arms. "Okay," he nodded evenly. "Fill me in. I wanna know three things about your life that I wasn't already aware of. Starting," he drawled, glancing at his watch, "Now."

"Are you serious?" Penelope snorted, dropping a hand to her hip as she faced him.

"Hey, I told you I wanted more than friendship from you, and you said you'd think about it. I deserve to know the woman I wanna get sweaty with, don't I?" he winked, his words playful but the look shining in his eyes indicating he was all too serious.

"I suppose you do," Penelope smirked with a put-upon sigh. "Where should I begin?" Pen pondered aloud, tapping a neon pink tipped nail to her lips. "Oh, I know!" she said with a wicked smile. "You don't know I have a tattoo."

"You do not," Derek scoffed immediately, shaking his head. "You hate needles," he said doubtfully, well aware for his beautiful woman's aversion to all things pain related.

"You're not the only one with a wild side," she retorted crossly, barely resisting the urge to take a marker and add a tattoo of her own to his dark skin. "And pain can be surmounted with the proper precautions. Mainly, a very tall bottle of tequila," she reminisced, remembering that long ago night when her girlfriends at CalTech had imbibed one too many margaritas during a celebration commemorating the sale of her very first search engine on the black market.

"Okay, Mama," Derek played along with a patience born from years of experience. "What is this tat you got and where is it?" he asked, cocking his head.

"It's of a penny, Ye of Little Faith," she replied with a glare. "And it's right here," she said, yanking up her skirt and showing him her inner thigh.

Eyes popping wide, Derek ogled the creamy flesh exposed to him before he forced his eyes to zone in on the small tattoo she pointed at insistently. "I'll be damned," he chuckled. "Why a penny, Sweetness?"

"I wanted any man ever close enough to identify what it was to know he'd found one hell of a lucky Penny."

Laughing, Derek lifted his eyes back to her blushing face. "Mission accomplished, Baby Girl," he grinned widely. "Okay, that's one. Next," he prodded, waving a hand in the air.

Pursing her lips, Pen replied thoughtfully, "I guess I could tell you about Cooper."

"Cooper?" Derek growled, his eyes gleaming as he narrowed his gaze. "There's another guy in your life I don't know about?"

"I don't tell many people about Coop," she shrugged carelessly. "We only talk every once and a while now...usually when I'm upset or depressed. He's sorta my crutch man."

"Mama, I'd start being a little more forthcoming on the intel, if I were you. I'm feeling a little jealous over here," Derek admitted, feeling his shoulders tense at the fond tone she was using to refer to this punk. **He** was supposed to be the guy she turned to when she was down, wasn't he?

Rolling her eyes at the jealousy she heard tinting his voice, it was Pen's turn to laugh. "Down, Boy," she ordered, "Cooper was my imaginary friend until I was a freshman in high school. He still occasionally shows up when I'm stressed though. Usually about you," she muttered.

Lips twitching despite his effort to control it, Morgan nodded. "That, I can live with. Especially if he only lives in that pretty head of yours."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew some of the things he'd done to me in the safe confines of this beautiful mind," Penelope wiggled her red brows at him.

"Another story for another day," Derek promised her with a wicked smile. "You still owe me one more fact about you that I didn't already know," he reminded her.

"We-elll," Pen drawled, clasping her hands in front of her and blinking innocently at him, "there is that closely guarded mystery behind why the FBI tagged yours truly for duty and service to our country," she said, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she lifted her eyes to stare at the ceiling tiles.

Stepping closer, Derek dropped his voice as he whispered, "You mean...the legendary tale shrouded in veils of mystery? Otherwise known as The Incident?" He'd been waiting literal years for this answer….and now it was apparently within his grasp!

"That's the one," Pen nodded as she quirked her lips.

"Spill," Derek ordered, grabbing her hand and tugging her to him lest she try to escape before giving him his much coveted explanation...the one she'd been dodging for years.

Biting her lip to keep from laughing in his face as he focused her with a laser-like gaze, Pen sighed. "Well, do you remember December 31, 1999?"

"Y2K...who could forget," Derek groaned. "I was stuck working surveillance with the ATF. Fun night," he grimaced.

"Yeah, I didn't have one much better," Pen cringed, remembering how her apartment had been stormed by the FBI, the jack-booted thugs ruining not only her entire life but her precious hand-loomed rug!

"Why?"

"You might recall that was the evening that NORAD went dark for thirty-seven minutes," Pen refreshed his memory. "Made headlines everywhere..."

"That was YOU?" Derek gasped in sudden realization, his eyes widening to the size of small saucers.

"That was little ole me," Penelope nodded with a short smile. "Hacked that sucker like Charlie Manson on speed."

Shaking his head dumbly, Derek sputtered, "But, why?"

"Why did Neil Armstrong want to walk on the moon, Hot Stuff?" Penelope shrugged. "To see if he could," she said, patting his cheek consolingly. "And as it turns out," Penelope said sadly, "It really wasn't even that hard to do. But have no fear, the Goddess put them on the path of the righteous...once I was...commandeered, so to speak," she said with a giggle.

"I...you...," Derek sputtered, blinking rapidly as his shocked mind tried to convince his mouth to form words.

"I told you, Sweetums," Penelope murmured, patting his cheek. "It'd take a book to get you fully informed...and not one of those sissy books either...we're talking "Gone With The Wind" size."

And as Derek Morgan stared blindly at the center of his world, he realized...he'd better start reading if he ever hoped to catch up with her.

_**Finis**_


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